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Result 1 of 10:

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Topic: Womens Instructions (Read 1 time)

5g8d8158
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Womens Instructions
« Result #1 on Mar 18, 2009, 2:10am »

Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".

Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.

When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."

WOW power leveling

wow power leveling

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Result 2 of 10:

Author

Topic: Suspicious Mother (Read 2 times)

56f5hd5
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Suspicious Mother
« Result #2 on Mar 18, 2009, 2:10am »

Brian invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep
noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and
Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Brian said, "Well, I
doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from
the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for

dinner. Love, Brian".

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

"Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But the fact remains
that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

WOW power leveling,
WOW power leveling

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Result 3 of 10:

Author

Topic: The Target (Read 1 time)

dfg659t
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The Target
« Result #3 on Mar 18, 2009, 1:47am »

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them.

¡¡¡¡I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

¡¡¡¡"It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.

¡¡¡¡"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

¡¡¡¡"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready."

wow gold
wow gold

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Result 4 of 10:

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Topic: An Urgent Standby Passenger (Read 1 time)

5g8d8158
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An Urgent Standby Passenger
« Result #4 on Mar 18, 2009, 1:47am »

While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment , his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.

¡¡¡¡After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.

¡¡¡¡Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.

maple story power leveling,
maple story power leveling

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Result 5 of 10:

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Topic: Mr. FooI Wants to Move the Mountain (Read 2 times)

asln2009
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Mr. FooI Wants to Move the Mountain
« Result #5 on Mar 3, 2009, 10:45pm »

there were two high mountains between Jizhou in the south and Heyang in the north. One was called Taihang Mountain and the other Wangwu Mountain.wow power leveling, Both of the mountains were very high.

Just to the north of the mountains lived an old man called Yu Gong who was nearly 90 years old. With the two high mountains just in front of his house, his family and he had to walk a long way around the mountains whenever they had something to do on the other side of the mountains.

One day, Yu Gong called all his family together to talk about how to move the two mountains to other places. His wife said, "An old man like you cannot even move a small hill, not to mention the two high mountains.wow power leveling, Even if you can, where can you throw so much earth and stone?"

"the Bohai Sea is big enough to contain all the earth and stone," Yu Gong said.
So it was decided. His children started to dig the mountains, led by the old man Yu Gong.

A man named Zhi Sou saw them working and tried to stop them, saying, "You are so silly! You're so old and weak that you can't even take away the grass and trees. wow gold,How can you move the high mountains?"

"You're wrong," Yu Gong said with a sigh. "Look, my sons can continue my work after my death. When my sons die, my grandchildren will continue. So generations after generations, there's no end.wow gold, But the mountains can't grow higher. Do you still say I can¡¯t move them away?"

Later the Heaven God, upon learning of Yu Gong¡¯s story, was GREatly moved.wow power leveling, He then ordered another god to come down and take the two high mountains away.

the story tells us that so long as one is determined and sticks to it long enough, anything can be done, wow gold,no matter how difficult it is.

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Result 6 of 10:

Author

Topic: A Guy Named Bill (Read 2 times)

asln2009
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A Guy Named Bill
« Result #6 on Mar 3, 2009, 10:45pm »

His name was Bill. He had wild hair, wore a T-shirt with holes in it, blue jeans and no shoes. In the entire time I knew him I never once saw Bill wear a pair of shoes. Rain, sleet or snow, Bill was barefoot. This was literally his wardrobe for his whole four years of college.

He was brilliant and looked like he was always pondering the esoteric.wow power leveling He became a Christian while attending college. Across the street from the campus was a church full of well-dressed, middle-class people. They wanted to develop a ministry to the college students, but they were not sure how to go about it.

One day, Bill decided to worship there. He walked into the church, complete with his wild hair, T-shirt, blue jeans and bare feet.wow gold The church was completely packed, and the service had already begun. Bill started down the aisle to find a place to sit. By now the people were looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one said anything.

As Bill moved closer and closer to the pulpit,wow power leveling he realized there were no empty seats. So he squatted and sat down on the carpet right up front. (Although such behavior would have been perfectly acceptable at the college fellowship, this was a scenario this particular congregation had never witnessed before!) By now, the people seemed uptight, and the tension in the air was thickening.

Right about the time Bill took his ¡°seat,¡± a deacon began slowly making his way down the aisle from the back of the sanctuary. The deacon was in his eighties, had silver gray hair, a three-piece suit and a pocket watch.wow power leveling He was a godly man -- very elegant, dignified and courtly. He walked with a cane and, as he neared the boy, church members thought, ¡°You can¡¯t blame him for what he¡¯s going to do. How can you expect a man of his age and background to understand some college kid on the floor?¡±

It took a long time for the man to reach the boy.wow gold The church was utterly silent except for the clicking of his cane. You couldn¡¯t even hear anyone breathing. All eyes were on the deacon.

But then they saw the elderly man drop his cane on the floor.wow gold With great difficulty, he sat down on the floor next to Bill and worshipped with him. Everyone in the congregation choked up with emotion. When the minister gained control, he told the people, ¡°What I am about to preach, you will never remember. What you¡¯ve just seen, you will never forget.¡±

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